how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My liver just had a heart attack.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
