WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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