Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
