She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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