The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
