we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
do herpes really smell.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
