youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
