So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
