You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
