I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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