oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can't turn off my feet"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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