His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
