My nipple is on Facebook.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
