Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
