having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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