so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
