so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
