He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
