i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
