no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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