U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
