im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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