Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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