My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
