If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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