I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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