I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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