Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
