i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
