YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
