her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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