We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
