I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Im part way to drunk.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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