A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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