I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
false alarm, still single
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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