I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize