10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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