i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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