At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
