I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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