is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
