Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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