I think I am morally bankrupt
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
