We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
