I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
