Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
