last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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