I skipped work to stalk him.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
