Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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