I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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