You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
