I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How naked do you want me to be?
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