He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
