There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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