Sry I called you an 8
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
