Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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