I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize