The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
