Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize