just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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