So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
