we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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