he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
