Your dad touched me again.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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