what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
